CherrySimone's Blog

A creative blog, written at gun point. Watch me Procrastinate.

Posts Tagged ‘Depression

Depression isn’t a Sickness, I’m not broken, it’s just an imbalance to be worked on…

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I need to remember this =) I need to remember that I’m doing well dealing with this and the longer I have it the even BETTER I’ll be at dealing with it. Yup. dealing, because I’m not broken, therefore I cannot be fixed. All I can do it work on it.

Phone counselling with Kiera works wonders.

A chat with my mother on Tuesday worked wonders too! I was feeling all kinds of awful for missing math class- though I brought all my work papers home with me, and feelingĀ  awful and guilty for money reasons (not the kind you’d think) so as long as I White Knuckle it and work out these formulas and silently White Knuckle it with my emotions then things can get better without first becoming worse!

I often compare myself with friends my age and a little younger- that live alone or house-share or that they might drive/have driving lessons, but I’m not on their scale, I’m on a different scale and it isn’t those to whom I should compare myself. If anybody.

Yup! Thanks Kiera!

Cherise

xXxXx

Written by Cherise

March 4, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Posted in Craft & Creativity

Tagged with ,

Bah humbug

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Right, now I’m feeling bleh, blue, poo and schmoo!

I had a bit of a cry earlier.

Before that I was buzzing because my nervous energy returned.

Before THAT I was hip shaking, belting out songs and giggling along to a Judy Garland (live) CD while baking biscuits (for no other reason than to avoid work and give myself more to do).

*sigh* But NOW I even feel blue that Light Night is tonight, that the fayre’s tomorrow and that I’m going to a Dave Gorman comedy gig after that. Though yesterday all I saw was Sunshine, Icy Breezes and Glittering Water. Now I just feel like sleeping for three weeks or drinking rum til I throw up or carving in to my skin until blood runs down my arm and in to a plug hole. Welcome to the world of depression ladies and gentlemen. Eugh, take be back to yesterday please? Where I felt good? Where the counsellor made me see that “Depression isn’t a sickness, it isn’t cured by pills and counselling.” and that was okay because, “You’re doing brilliantly to know and understand yourself better and to know how to manage it” and ending on, “I can feel how happy you are right now and you joyful anticipation of the next few days- it’s contagious!” *sigh* Can I go back to then please? I can’t. Can I? No. I’ll just make some jewellery, stay away from my arms, shower, play my music on the tram when I go to Light Night and carry on. Sunday I can rest. Hide in warm blankets until Monday. Monday at Arts on Prescription we’re doing Silk Painting =) that makes me feel a tiny bit lighter. But yes. Cant let this sad (or “blue”) nervous energy make me break myself.

Written by Cherise

February 12, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Off day >.< =)

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Positives and Negatives:

+ Teffybum’s birthday yesterday
+ He gave me a BEAUTIFUL watch for my late Christmas present.
+ I’d baked him a cake
– And yet he ate my choconana cake
+ There was a little bit left and I ate it for dessert tonight XD
– Feeling cold
+ Have just switched on my electric blanket
+ Today i had arts on prescription
– Got a lift because I had lots of books to carry, was feeling dozy and lazy.
+ Was given a lift =P
– Dozily tripped up when walking from library to AonP and bruised my knees
+ Didnt break new watch
+ Called Dee and she found my phone at her house
+ We made paper lanterns at AonP.
– I told mum and she teased me when I told her we sat under the table in the dark.
– Teased me a few times after about that too…
+ We did it to better see how GORGEOUS our lanterns look when lit-up =D
– Have to wake at half 8 tomorrow to be able to get to B.E.S.T for 11am.
+ Photographed all my new bits (including re- photographing the hearts so that they might be easier and speedier to edit *cross fingers*)
-…. Now I just have yet to edit and list them on Folksy
+ Something with which to fill my day when I get home from BEST.

Bon, oui?

At Arts On Prescription today we painted white, paper sandwich bags with silk paint- drawing on extra details with metallic pen- this was to make D.I.Y lanterns. They’re simple, I suppose, but they’re SO effective and pretty and I would have never have thought about doing such a thing.


Mine’s the yellow one!

I began painting my indian thang on the other side.

Written by Cherise

February 8, 2010 at 11:54 pm