CherrySimone's Blog

A creative blog, written at gun point. Watch me Procrastinate.

Bah humbug

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Right, now I’m feeling bleh, blue, poo and schmoo!

I had a bit of a cry earlier.

Before that I was buzzing because my nervous energy returned.

Before THAT I was hip shaking, belting out songs and giggling along to a Judy Garland (live) CD while baking biscuits (for no other reason than to avoid work and give myself more to do).

*sigh* But NOW I even feel blue that Light Night is tonight, that the fayre’s tomorrow and that I’m going to a Dave Gorman comedy gig after that. Though yesterday all I saw was Sunshine, Icy Breezes and Glittering Water. Now I just feel like sleeping for three weeks or drinking rum til I throw up or carving in to my skin until blood runs down my arm and in to a plug hole. Welcome to the world of depression ladies and gentlemen. Eugh, take be back to yesterday please? Where I felt good? Where the counsellor made me see that “Depression isn’t a sickness, it isn’t cured by pills and counselling.” and that was okay because, “You’re doing brilliantly to know and understand yourself better and to know how to manage it” and ending on, “I can feel how happy you are right now and you joyful anticipation of the next few days- it’s contagious!” *sigh* Can I go back to then please? I can’t. Can I? No. I’ll just make some jewellery, stay away from my arms, shower, play my music on the tram when I go to Light Night and carry on. Sunday I can rest. Hide in warm blankets until Monday. Monday at Arts on Prescription we’re doing Silk Painting =) that makes me feel a tiny bit lighter. But yes. Cant let this sad (or “blue”) nervous energy make me break myself.

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Written by Cherise

February 12, 2010 at 4:23 pm

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